I’m on a roll now. I’d just like to share mummy vs daddy’s morning routine…
We’ll start with daddy’s because it’s easier…
– wake up
– go get coffee
– make self bowl of cereal
– bring cereal upstairs and eat it in bed whilst playing with phone
– moan at mummy that he doesn’t know why he bothers making her a coffee because she never drinks it
– wake up
– change Isla’s bum
– Express breast milk
– warm bottle
– feed Isla
– change Isla’s bum again after her morning poo
– continue to feed Isla
– go to drink coffee then realise it’s gone cold
This is standard. But today… ohhhh… daddy disappeared for half hour… Mummy ASSUMED he’d gone out to collect the shopping and get her the breakfast he’d told her he would on his way back… after 30mins daddy shouted upstairs to ask if mummy needed anything when he was out.
Intrigued, mummy started walking down the stairs at the same time as asking daddy what he had been doing. Daddy told mummy he’d been doing the washing up, but mummy heard him turn the tap on as he said it. When mummy got downstairs she found daddy having himself a second breakfast without a care in the world.
Mummy was pissed off. Daddy couldn’t understand why. Mummy considered stabbing daddy, but at the last minute managed to restrain herself.
GIVE. ME. STRENGTH.