Just before I launch in to this, you need to know that I’ve held off writing this down for a good 2 weeks… that’s how long this has been simmering! I feel like I use all of my patience up on my little one and there’s not much left for anyone else. I wasn’t going to write it down, but if I don’t I think I might actually self combust. So here goes…
Few weeks ago we took Isla to see the mother-in-law, now I do need to mention a few things here… (although you’d probably be more in my favour if I didn’t 🤣 ) She is 81. She has been widowed 4 years. And she has cancer which cannot be cured. Also, my husband is an only child, and she doesn’t really have any other family. Anywayyyy… despite all that, I am really, really, REALLY struggling to bite my tongue with her at the minute.
I get the same few comments every time I visit, they include:
“She always cries when she comes here”
“I don’t think she likes coming here”
“She doesn’t like me”
“Do you think you can force a smile out for me?” (Isla, not me 😂 )
On our last visit though she really outdid herself. I took Isla’s playmat with us so that she could have her “wriggle hour” (hour with her pavlik harness off) at her gran’s house. I thought she’d like to see it, well, cos it’s freaking adorable. Turns out I shouldn’t have bothered, as I had a few additional comments thrown in…
“Her feet are cold, she should be wearing socks” (the harness has little booties attached so no, she should not!)
“Should you be doing that? You’ll damage her hips” (when I wriggled my daughter’s legs while we were playing)
“Are you supposed to give her cold milk?” (It wasn’t cold, I’d expressed it before we left the house, but that’s besides the point)
And the icing on the cake…
“I have never, NEVER known a baby to cry as much as Isla” (she cried for like 2 minutes after happily wriggling for 30mins because she was hungry, and well… she’s a baby and can’t talk yet!!!)
So, at this point I’d lost my cool, and I’ll admit I answered back, not how I wanted to, just with a strained laugh and the comment “well how many babies do you know?”
Anyway, all of this led to a text message to my husband to say that she was “devastated” after the visit as the atmosphere had been so terrible, he went round to see her and told her that sometimes her comments could be upsetting, she caveated this with “is Becki ok? Do you think she has postnatal depression?” 🤬🤬🤬
Anyway, I knew I needed to be the bigger person here, was happy that hubby had told her her comment had upset me, and so I text her to arrange to go round… this is where it gets fun!!!
I’ve been round this week, and instead of the apology that I was naively expecting I got…
“I was worried about you the other week, you seemed stressed” to which I said “well, my dad HAD just had a heart attack and there were just a few comments that upset me as you know” to which she replied “well, when you asked how many babies I know, I have known lots of babies in my time. And as for your dad, well I have cancer, you have your mum, your dad, Paul and your brother, I have no one (I can’t remember the exact words of the next bit but in my head they translated to “so it’s not as bad as me, get over it”) I was also hit with “I always wanted a big family, 4 boys, although what’s that saying? ‘A daughter is a daughter for all of her life, but a son is only a son until he finds a wife’ and that’s very true”
So yeah, I’m smiling and nodding and possibly rocking in a corner by now too and slowly burning from the inside.
I know I’m going to hell for bitching about this. I’ve accepted it. It’s fine. So yeah, give me strength!!!!