Becoming a mum for the first time was obviously going to bring some pretty huge lifestyle changes, I knew that, and for the most part, was prepared for them! Giving up our spontaneous trips to adults only hotels for a bit of relax was something we knew we’d be kissing goodbye to (or at least doing significantly less often!) I’m cool with that. What I didn’t realise is there are a load of mundane, day to day things that I have been taking for granted for the past 34 years!! Things like –
1. Not feeling like I’ve been in a car crash. Like, just feeling generally well! Recovery from childbirth isn’t fast!!! However you do it, it takes time! Contrary to social media belief you don’t just pop out a baby then skip straight to full days of blissful snuggles! Instead you’re gonna have WEEKS of pain in either your lady bits or c section area, your breasts are gonna hurt – like, you have no idea how much those bad boys are going to hurt! You’re probably going to have headache from the bouts of screaming. Oh, and your back will hurt!! That tiny, precious bundle of joy weighs probably a minimum of half a stone, and will be carried round by your exhausted body A LOT!!
2. The meaning of the phrase ‘private parts’ seriously… childbirth just destroys this! Feel like sticking a public access sign next to mine! Think in the time I was in hospital I had more people poking and prodding about down there than I’ve had do that my whole life (probably not, but my mum might be reading this 😂)
3. Eating… when I’m hungry!! And at a normal speed. Remembering to eat is a start… but doing it when you actually want to?? I think people who do that must be a whole other level of planned and organised that I can only aspire to! You can guarantee as soon as I realise I’m hungry, so will my baby. Or, she’ll fill her nappy. Or decide she needs cuddles else she’ll scream the house down!!
4. Having anxiety about normal things – like the way I look, am I good enough at my job, money, the amount of Nutella I ate through my pregnancy…! Not only did I not know what the temperature of all the rooms in my house were pre baby, I also couldn’t have cared less! Who knew room thermometers would be an essential piece of decor 🤷🏻♀️ Going to bed now carries more apprehension than I’d feel if it was announced that ‘The Purge’ was going to be trialled in real life for one night. Like, please, please, please don’t scream tonight. Please.
5. Not waking up soaking wet… On a recent “good night” I thought I’d take advantage of my little one sleeping like an angel and cash in on some extra sleep… so I made the brave decision to skip an express session. Rookie mistake!!!! I woke up COVERED in milk. My bra, my nightie, my duvet, my mattress, and somehow even my pillow (Christ knows how that happened *definitely wasn’t dribble… honest!) were soaked!!! Brings a whole new meaning to sleeping in the wet patch. Makes me so sad that even my own body is now conspiring against me getting any sleep 😴
6. Wearing normal size underwear. I mean, I guess wearing knickers that could double up as a parachute could come in handy in an emergency, but still… And I cannot even begin to tell you how much I miss sleeping without a bra! It’s the simple things in life!
7. My husband’s snoring. Now, pre baby, this drove me mad! Now, after 5 weeks of sleeping next to my little cherub I can see that I should have been more accepting of it! Turns out, sleeping (haha, I mean trying to sleep!) next to a young baby isn’t as peaceful and serene as you might imagine. I’m not talking about the crying… I mean the bits inbetween the crying. Not sure if my baby is broken or what but sleeping next to her is like trying to get my head down for 40winks in a farmyard!! She’s wriggly and surprisingly noisy (except in the day time, go figure!)
8. Being able to leave the house. I never knew having a baby could give you such a case of cabin fever! I think this has been heightened by the fact that I’ve had a c section so I’m not allowed to drive, but even if I could the EFFORT involved in leaving the house is ridiculous! I changed my car when we knew we were expecting so that I’d have more space for the essentials I’d need when I go out. I didn’t realise I actually need a minibus to fit everything I need in. Seriously tempted to buy a tow-bar and a caravan and be done with it! How can someone so little need so much stuff??
9. Having 5 minutes to myself. I have a kindle. I love it. Pre-baby I read every night before bed. Without fail. Like, I even took it to Creamfields with me (made for a very amusing stop and search!) I still take my kindle to bed with me. Sometimes I even turn it on and hold it for a few seconds. Reading it however, is now a thing of the past!
10. Showering. Ahhhh, such a basic. After my husband went back to work from paternity I realised I was going to struggle with this. I think my baby has superpowers because even when she is fast asleep she can somehow sense if I leave the room and starts screaming! When I asked other mummies how they did this they said they’d used bath seats (thought hadn’t even occurred to me!) so I have it a go. She cried in the seat but when I picked her up she seemed to enjoy it. So between short periods of her being in the seat (I get about a minute before she starts crying) and picking her up I managed to get my hair and body washed. Mummy 1 – 0 Isla. Feeling extremely accomplished I got out the shower and wrapped us both in a big towel and then… she shat all over me 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️ Back to square one I guess!!!